13/On the edge of
What the world looks like from there
‘On the edge of’ is a phrase that applies both figuratively and literally to me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve slept on the very edge of the bed, always on the verge of falling off. That hadn't changed even when I got a bed of my own. I sit on the edge of sofas, of movie seats, always leaning forward as if I somehow expect to be catapulted into a new world. Sitting on the edge makes me seem prepared in case a portal opens up to gobble me up.
Which is a fancy way of saying I look forward to risk and adventures.
It’s also a great metaphor for how my mind works. I am always leaning out of windows, looking around corners, peering through cracks on the wall lest I miss a whole new world hidden in plain sight. A seeker of Narnia (which definitely exists).
To be always on the lookout for the ‘next great adventure’ (as I call it) is as tiring as it is dopamine-inducing. An upside of it is I always find something to take an interest in, or someone to introduce me to their interests. A downside of it is to never stick to one thing long enough to get good (or great) at it.
Which is why even though I took up video editing, playing guitar and drawing recently, I am unable to master it. I want to work on ways to make my interest last longer so I can produce a portfolio of work/ enjoy it to a deeper extent. I would love to hear about your thoughts on what makes you want to stick to something over an extended period of time. Tap and type away!
On sharing your interests as a love language
I want to take a slight detour here to talk about the ‘finding someone to introduce me to their interests’ aspect. I came across a sentence that said - ‘People-ing is my hobby’ and I instantly understood what they meant.
People-ing is taking a deep interest in the people you meet by asking questions, being empathetic and trying to understand why they are the way they are. What makes them tick? What are their influences? What has shaped their attitude towards money, family and the world? Do they treat work as play? Do they take life, or themselves seriously? What activity brings out a serious side, and what brings out an emotional one?
Heads up, I would not recommend bombarding a stranger with these questions.
A gentler start would be to ask for the kind of music they like, shows they watch or books they read. What do they do for fun? Do they lean towards movement and the sun or comfort and hygge and the likes?
I was recently introduced to anime and Telugu comedy movies. It has been a joy to delve into the painterly imagery and the dramatic soundscape of anime. Should I learn Japanese? There goes my brain on an edge, again. Watching Telugu movies and being able to pick up major words and understand sentences (as a Tamilian) made me realise I have an affinity for languages. Play to your strengths, right?
So what does that have to do with being a love language? I do not mean love in the romantic sense. One aspect of sharing interests is trying to find something new to take an interest in, something that takes you outside your bubble. Another aspect is person related - where you try to understand ‘why’ they like the things they like. What sort of an emotional significance does that hold for them? It’s one thing to be fascinated, and another to try to understand someone else’s fascination. In my opinion, that kind of effort is reserved for good friendships with good people of (hopefully) great taste.
Should I take up psychology for my masters? At least prerequisite fascination for people is a given in my case.
Will you share your interests with me? Can be video games, skating or art! Anything! The weirder the better :D
Miks Recommends -
This is a section dedicated to recommending music/books/things that I have personally tried and loved.
I recently read ‘Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow’ by Gabrielle Zevin. A gripping book on life, love and video games. I finished the book in three days straight.
The one I’m currently reading is ‘Desperately Seeking Shah Rukh’ by Shrayana Bhattacharya, another novel I am unable to put down. The latter deals with the fandom of Shah Rukh Khan across societal classes and contains a healthy dose of statistics. A novel focused on the female gaze. I signed up for an event that discusses this very book, hoping to broaden my insights on this.
PSA: Dear Men - Please be feminists and support the women in your life. Speak of them proudly, don’t make them feel stupid about they don’t know or can’t do and please don’t raise your voice at them. Certain conditioning has made us the emotional pallbearers and I for one, am tired. Which brings me to my next point.
I signed up for therapy recently to deal with some issues I was facing in a better way. I don’t want to discuss the content (yet) but I will say it has had a very positive effect on me. I highly recommend Your Emotional Wellbeing. They offer the first session free of cost.
When in doubt, go instrumental. I mean that for music and here are my recent finds - Soothing Japanese Music and the instrumentals from Bridgerton.
A financial company named ‘Salt’ hosts workshops on investing in Mutual funds. I signed up for it and now have much more clarity than I did. I recommend signing up (it’s 200 bucks!) to get a better handle on your finances. Astha is a very knowledgeable and patient instructor.
Got any recommendations for me?
I have some big news
I am not ready to announce it just yet. It is related to redefining my life and my path, hugely inspired the book ‘The Pathless Path’ by Paul Millerd (Miks recommends!). I will write about it when I have something concrete to show for it.
Phew. That was lengthy. I've been writing for a solid 45 minutes now.
You can expect more long form essays from me henceforth, but if that’s not your cup of tea, I understand.
If that IS your cup of tea (or coffee, or whisky :P) and you’d like to share that cup with someone, tap tap -
That's fabulous Max!!
I do believe jumping interests keeps life interesting. Love your take on people-ing and love language. Hoping to take some lessons probably :) Greatly written as well! You might've well mentioned something about your interest in writing out things...